We have a List of Desirable Characteristics. Why is it problematic for Females to Commit?

Reader Question:

Me: 46 years old, African-American male, expert career, resident, good-looking, 20-year-old daughter. I date outside of my competition. I will be in good form.

This indicates approximately women wish to have a loyal union, they don’t desire to commit to myself. I actually do have a “list” of desirable attributes — attractive, in a position to resolve the woman finances, a social or nondrinker and a person that is ready and able to travel and do things.

Why is it hard for females to commit while I give outward signs of willing to be in a loyal union?

-Mark (Ca)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Mark,

Certainly, so many women are acting like males (or the way they THINK men behave) and therefore are steering clear of devotion. With that said, i’ll inform you there are a lot more ladies who desire a safe attachment than not.

I am thinking precisely why you may appear is attracted to ladies who eliminate a good relationship. Could this become your choice in targets?

My personal suggestion is always to speak with females whom you may not initially end up being attracted to and view should you decide limber up to them. Occasionally all of our failure discover a safe commitment is related to all of our concerns of abandonment.

Put differently, we chose partners just who can not get near protect us from becoming “dangerously” close and exposure abandonment.

Attempt internet dating the kind of individual you have never, actually outdated prior to. Go-slow. And pay attention to how you feel on the way.

Do you actually be quickly envious, desire to control the woman time or want to secure the deal too fast? The secret to success is consist of yourself and quell your fears.

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